Two Months
Two months...is it normal that my feelings can still be best described as 'fragile'? I have all these emotions just under the surface that spill over without warning. Most days I'm ok, but then something stupid happens like we get a nail in our tire and I'm in tears. People don't ask how I'm doing anymore because it's been two months and I probably should be feeling some sense of moving forward. But I ache. Am I going crazy?
posted by hobbitsister @ 3:46 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
There is no time limit on grief. My grandmother passed away a month before Samuel was born, 11 years ago. A few weeks ago I ran across a picture of her and started crying because I wasn’t able to be at her funeral.
I try hard not to think of my last conversation with Joanna because I cannot handle it. We had made plans for me to come over in a week. I was looking forward to it. My uncle had been in town and things were crazy in 4H and so I didn’t take the opportunity to talk to her as long as I should have because I was going to see her in a little over a week. There is so much regret. Mostly because I squandered the time I was given. I didn’t want to take time away from the people who were closer to her, so I waited to visit and now it is too late. I am thankful that a lot of our friendship was in electronic communication, but it is too painful to go through those messages.
So, no, you’re not crazy. You know exactly what you lost and it is very normal for you to miss that.
I don't know if guilt is one of the stages of guilt, but I think we all go through a bit of that. I know I have struggled with some of the "should haves". But I know that Joanna loved us all regardless.
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