Tears

I cry a lot. Tears just come unbidden. Not big, snobby tears. I don't think I've had a big ole cry since the day Joanna died. But tears will just roll down my cheeks without warning, and I can't willfully stop them.
Yesterday I was in the school computer lab with my student. Another class was also in there, testing. I don't think I was even thinking about Joanna, but all of a sudden, here came the tears. I tried to make them stop, but no luck. So I told my student we had to leave. I said the librarian had a job for him (she didn't, but I knew she'd be understanding and watch him while I went to wash my face). He wouldn't come. So I sat there in tears. Then I tried again. "Let's go." "I stay here." "We have to go." "I not done yet." Finally I promised him that another para would let him use the computer later. Anything to get out of that room.
I don't know what to do. Time, I guess.