A Letter to My Daughters

As I've been thinking back over my friendship with Joanna, it has struck me that while we called each other "best friend" pretty early on, it was years before she became my joanna. I was feeling guilty about all the times I wasn't there for her in the early days. Then a mutual friend sent me an old blog post of Jo's where she was basically saying the same thing - that she felt like I had been the better friend. 

What I'm saying is that having a joanna takes time. We had no idea twenty years ago when we were laughing about kidnapping Goose and getting a celebrity to negotiate her release what a real friendship would look like. Twenty years ago - even ten years ago - she would not have been able to sob "I need you to - sob - I need you to - sob - I want you to be the one because - sob - shut up, I'm trying to explain what I need you to do!" as I sobbed "I know. I'm already doing it."

It wasn't really until they moved back to Arizona that we became what we did. We grew up, we grew closer, we shared deeper thoughts. She became my sounding board and I became hers. Twenty-two years ago when I prayed for a friend, I thought I just wanted somebody to spend time with and laugh with. Thankfully God knew better, and thankfully Joanna stuck with me through my selfishness and silliness and immaturity. In our twenties, we didn't know how deep and beautiful true friendship is, and that's ok. I'm thankful that we got to grow together. I'm thankful that I was blessed to watch her grow to be more and more like Jesus as the years went by. 

Pursue friendships, and keep the ones worth keeping. Light-hearted friendships are good. We need that. But recognize that having a joanna isn't an overnight thing. You might have stretches where you don't connect much. Life is made up of stages and sometimes friendships take a back seat. But I am praying that you will know when somebody is worth holding on to, even if it's loosely from time to time. You might be surprised someday at how richly God has blessed you.