My Person of the Year Acceptance Speech

First of all, I'd like to thank Time, for recognizing what a wonderful human being I am. I'd also like to thank my husband, for being smart enough to marry me (love you, honey!), and my daughters, Erma and Scout, for being lucky enough to have me for a mom. Thanks to my mom and dad, for raising such a terrific daughter, and to my brother and sister, for being in awe of my greatness their entire lives. Thank you to my best friend, BusyMommy, for supplying me with Blizzards while I was on my path to the top (you can be my guest at the Person of the Year banquet - I'll make sure you get to sit by Kevin Spacey). And most of all, I'd like to thank God, because He gave me my Keds.